


maybe you'll be coming over again (and i'll have to get over you all over again)

by behradtarazi



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kendra Saunders Is A Badass, Kinda, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Sara Lance is a badass, Tension, The Justice League, i say fluff and angst but rlly it's mostly angst, it was kinda supposed to be more fluffy and then it wasn't, kendra dumped carter's bitch ass and moved to nyc to be a superhero, kinda set at the beginning of s3, lots and lots of tension, no happy endings we cry and yearn gayly like men, they're bi trainwrecks what can i say, this took way too long to write, very tiny fight scene bc i cant write them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 12:07:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20192011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/behradtarazi/pseuds/behradtarazi
Summary: it's been what feels like years since kendra left the legends, left sara, and she's never going to rejoin the team, can't even let herself take one last ride on the waverider because she knows she'll only end up breaking sara's heart and her own all over again.but when a certain blonde shows up on her doorstep and they talk for awhile, well - she's never been able to resist that smile.





	maybe you'll be coming over again (and i'll have to get over you all over again)

kendra saunders doesn’t have time to be nostalgic.

it’s strange, almost, that the woman with over a hundred lifetimes worth of memories from days long past doesn’t want to think about history, but it’s true. she focuses on the future, works relentlessly with the justice league and lives her best life, happy and free and at peace and gloriously single (she broke things off with carter a long, long time ago - she needed to focus on herself, for once).

she can’t look back, not because she’s running from her past, but because she doesn’t want to waste time missing things that will never come again.

sure, she could go back to the legends if she really wanted to, could go back to _ sara _, but she’s not the person who fought by their side anymore, not the person who sara fell in something close enough to love with. she’s grown, and changed, and she’s better for it.

that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t miss them, though.

she hasn’t even visited once, hasn’t spoken to any of them in years (except for jax, who started coming over occasionally after retiring from the superhero business), and it’s easier that way.

even one last ride on the waverider would be too much.

there’s no point in breaking both her and sara’s hearts again, and any longings, any dreams won’t change that, won’t make it worth it. nothing can.

that determination, that certainty, it does its job, convinces her that she’s completely over any feelings she might have once had for a certain blonde assassin - and maybe that’s why she’s completely blindsided by what happens on that warm october evening when sara lance appears on her doorstep.

-

with her hair up in a bun and some pop song that just reached number one on the national charts playing in the background, kendra hums along to the music while she reheats last night’s leftovers. it’s normal, almost boringly so, but after years of fighting and a long day of saving the world, the routine relaxes her, bringing a few moments of rare peace.

her serene bubble pops suddenly, though, when a sharp knock rings through the apartment, and she sighs, pushing down a flash of annoyance at the interruption as she walks over to the door, then swings it open and starts to tell her busybody neighbor that he can fuck right off before the words die on her lips.

“sara?”

in front of her stands sara lance, as beautiful as she was the day kendra left her, blonde hair pulled back and her tight sweater leaving just about nothing to the imagination, not that kendra’s complaining.

“hey, kendra. mind if i come in?”

“no, not all,” she says immediately, stepping out of the way and letting her into her apartment without a moment’s hesitation, the spell cast over her by the surprise and sara’s smile only wearing off when she closes the door with a quiet click.

she crosses her arms, watching sara scan the room with a slightly pleased look on her face and then turn back to kendra.

“nice place,” she says, hands tucked into the pockets of her skinny jeans. “you look good, too.”

kendra almost laughs, replying with a cool “i know” before she can even fully process the compliment or try to piece together what sara’s presence means, a grin lighting up her face that mirrors sara’s.

she had forgotten what it felt like, being with sara, the way she could always get her to drop her guard.

it felt like coming home.

_ but you left the legends for a reason _ , a little voice in her head reminds her, though it’s one that’s quickly being drowned out by how much of sara there is to take in. _ if sara’s here to try to convince you to come back, you won’t. you can't. _

“so, what’s going on? why the sudden appearance?”

“what, i can’t visit an old friend?” sara replies, eyebrows raised like the fact that she’d even ask surprises her. kendra tilts her head slightly, gives her an almost sad look, a gentle reminder that they’ve both avoided visits for this long for a reason.

raising her hands in mock surrender, sara gives in. “alright, alright. this isn’t a long-overdue social call, sadly. someone’s targeting retired legends, i wanted to make sure you were okay.”

it was the closest she can come to saying ‘i wanted to protect you,’ and kendra knows it.

“i can take care of myself, sara.”

“i know. but, c’mon, it’s just one night, the team’s already on it. humor me. besides, who wouldn’t want to spend a little more time with this gorgeous face?” sara offers up a hopeful smile, and after a moment of holding her gaze kendra cracks and gives in, nodding and trying her best to hold back a smile of her own at the way sara’s face lights up.

she's absolutely stunning, always has been.

kendra starts to sit down on the couch, before a loud beep sounds in the kitchen. 

sara immediately tenses, a knife appearing in each hand from god knows where, and kendra puts a hand on her shoulder. “it’s just the tacos i was reheating, calm down,” she says, but sara doesn’t, not until she’s seen the microwave herself.

it’s noble, how badly she wants to keep her safe, and kendra would be flattered if she hadn’t gotten sick of being everyone’s damsel in distress ages ago.

“sara, you don’t need to protect my from my own microwave.” she tries to keep the annoyance out of her voice, but she knows she failed the moment the words leave her mouth.

“yeah, i know,” sara says, a mix of sheepishness and guilt in her voice. “sorry. i’ve just been on edge lately.”

kendra takes the tacos out of the microwave, setting them down on the small kitchen table and sitting down. “you want to talk about it?”

sara pauses, knives disappearing back into her sleeves. “fine. but i’m taking a taco.” she sits down across from her, and does exactly what she said she would, using eating to stop the conversation from continuing on. it’s not as subtle as she had hoped, and kendra crosses her arms, making it very clear that she’s not going to be dropping the subject.

the room stays quiet for a moment, just the week’s top 40 pop songs playing in the background, and eventually sara says, “there are these time bureau people that’ve been making my life hell. rip made the bureau after he left the legends, they’re...they’re supposed to be better at our job than we are.”

kendra winces. “i’m sorry, sara. but nobody can beat the legends. you’re a bit of a trainwreck, but your hearts are in the right place, and you do good work.”

_ that ‘you’ should be ‘we,’ _a rebellious part of her mind thinks, but kendra’s gotten very good at shutting that out, has had to get good at shutting that out. 

she’s with the league now. she’s hawkgirl, the savior of new york city. and going home - no. and going back to the legends would just be moving backwards. she doesn’t do that anymore. no, she keeps looking forward. 

(it hurts less that way.)

sara’s saying something else, talking about bureaucracy and anger, and kendra listens, nodding along and being perfectly sympathetic, even though it’s starting to get hard to concentrate on anything other than the way a few wisps of sara’s blonde hair are starting to fall onto her eyes.

“do you want me to punch rip in the face? because i can always do that again.”

sara laughs, shaking her head a little. “don’t tempt me. i’ve come close to it already.”

“he’ll come around and be less of a dick eventually,” kendra says softly. “you know what he’s like. it just takes time.”

sara nods, going quiet for a little bit, before making herself smile. “you always know how to make me feel better, huh?”

“‘til the end, babe.”

they lock gazes for a few moments too long, until kendra breaks the spell, standing and picking up the plate of tacos. she starts to take them back into the kitchen, then laughs when sara jumps up and snags one, heading over to the couch with her prize while kendra tucks the plate into the fridge to deal with later.

“so, how’ve you been?” sara asks from where she’s sprawled out on the couch, moving her head up so kendra can sit down and then resting it on her lap.

“pretty good,” kendra says, pushing a lock of hair out of sara’s face. “really busy, though. the league is chaotic in their own faux-professional way, but i like them a lot. i think we’re slowly becoming something like family.”

she didn’t mean to hurt sara, didn’t mean for the idea of her new superhero group to just twist the knife of her leaving, but that’s what happens. 

sara does her best not to show it, though, gives her a proud smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “‘m glad you’re happy. and is it too early to say that i’m glad you ditched carter?”

kendra laughs again, and sara’s smile becomes a lot more real and a lot more smug. “no, it’s okay. i’m glad, too. the entire soulmates thing is definitely not what i need.”

“you make your own fate.”

“yeah. i make my own fate.”

the pause is a little too tense to be platonic, the position a little too domestic, the words a little too weighted. 

“wonder what would’ve happened if you’d left him sooner.”

with that, the tension goes from a ten to an eleven, and kendra has to look away, knowing full well what sara wishes she’d say, knowing full well that she wants to say it, too.

_ i’d have stayed with you. _

but she’s not going to break both of their hearts with a future that isn’t on the books, not anymore.

she’s not going to spend her days dreaming of maybes, of what-ifs.

“i don’t know,” kendra says. “i don’t know.”

sara knows she’s lying. 

she doesn’t say a word. 

-

the tension only grows in the hours to come, as they catch up and laugh and try not to be too obvious (they fail miserably).

they don’t do anything about it, though.

they don’t do anything about it.

until. 

it’s 10:30 and sara is growing antsy, wondering why the team hasn’t called in to tell her that they’ve dealt with the problem, but not quite daring to say it aloud.

they haven’t called because they haven’t dealt with the problem, a fact that becomes painfully clear when two men kick down the front door and two more through the fire escape and one through the kitchen window.

it’s five to two.

those poor bastards never stood a chance.

sara’s knives are in the first one’s throat and heart before the last has even breached the building, and kendra is smothering another one with a pillow before she’s even stood, shoving him into the wall and holding him down until he stops struggling, promptly throwing his body at one of his comrades.

the room becomes a whirlwind of blows and blood as kendra and sara quickly take down their attackers, the last one hitting the floor with a satisfying thud.

the two heroes, the two legends stand there, inches apart, spots of other people’s blood marking their faces and hands still curled into fists.

they stare at each other for a long, dark moment, and kendra can practically feel the electricity running through sara’s veins, the adrenaline and power.

then, sara cups her face and kisses her.

kendra pulls back a moment later, but she already knows she’s hooked, falling too hard all over again to even think about resisting when she hears sara’s quiet “one last time, just one last time.”

when sara kisses her again, kendra kisses back, lets her tangle her hands in her hair, like she always used to. 

it feels like fate when they fall into bed.

no, not fate; kendra makes her own decisions now.

no, it feels like choice.

-

sara wakes up alone in the morning, the pillow next to her abandoned and the blankets thrown back. 

she has no less than thirty-seven missed calls and unanswered texts from the legends, but she can’t quite make herself care, because kendra isn’t there.

of course she isn’t.

it was a “for old time’s sake” type thing. it doesn’t change anything.

she closes her eyes, and wishes that it did.

-

kendra sits at the top of a skyscraper, legs dangling off the side, and tries not to think about sara. she can’t think about sara, because wanting her doesn’t mean she can have her.

maybe she shouldn’t have left, should have stayed next to her, made breakfast - and then go back to the waverider? no. 

remembering is okay, she decides. reminiscing is okay. but going back to the good old days, which weren’t so good and aren’t so old, isn’t.

she focuses on a mugging happening in an alley below her, ignores the voice in her head that tells her to look up and wave, because the waverider is flying away.

she unfurls her wings.

it’s time for her to go back to work.

it's too late to change, even if she doesn’t think she’ll ever get over sara lance.


End file.
